How do the five and seven stage grief models differ?
The five stages of grief were identified by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969 in her groundbreaking book On Death and Dying. Her theory explained the process of grief over five distinct, linear stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Kubler-Ross’s work was revolutionary. It acknowledged that grief is a normal emotional process, which helped reduce the stigma associated with grieving. However, Kubler-Ross’s research was done with patients who were dying of a terminal illness which gave the impression that grief was a linear process — where one step had to follow another. This became problematic as the grief experienced by the survivors of loss is unique. People move in and out of the stages of grief in varying ways and time frames. The idea that someone was not grieving “correctly” was confusing and painful.
Dr. Kubler-Ross later regretted the misunderstanding of her original work and revised her 5-stage model to a 7-stage grieving process. The stages of shock and testing were added so that the complete process consisted of shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. Shock describes an initial response of emotional paralysis, or numbness, and the testing stage involves trying new ways of coping with the loss and rebuilding life after loss.
How do we find a way to carry our grief for our loved one and find joy in the present? This question is one that I often get asked. I am very open about the fact that I lost a son to cancer 20 years ago, and that loss has shaped me into the person and clinician I am today.
Grief is the way we respond to a significant loss. Even though you can’t rush the grieving process, there are things you can do to ease the pain and focus on your physical and mental health. Here are some coping tips.
If you've never had an online psychiatry visit before, you might have some questions about how the process works. Dr. Churi, Amwell’s staff psychiatrist, shares answers and helpful information about telepsychiatry.
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